Rule # 1

Never. ever. run when a  10  Year old is riding a bike along side of you. They may cajole you and cry and tell you that they just want to “spend time with their favorite mommy.” But really they don’t…. It’s all a conspiracy, really I promise. Why? You may ask….really it is okay to question, I don’t mind answering. Well….. because they will in fact dogmatically question every request that you make. Your run will in fact become less about you, and more about the weather (is it humid?), Zack Efron (Do you like his new haircut?), should scrunchies really be out of fashion? (Yes, hell yes! How did you come from my womb and still ask that question?  and the car (Insert Gasp!) that is careening toward us  safely on the other side of the road and waves to let us know that he does see us…..

One mile into said run, statements will be made like “I think I should have added air to my tires, do they look flat?” To which I say”No!” Gasp….. gasp…. “They look perfect!” I mean really….. do I ask her random questions like; do I look fat in my running pants. (Not that I would ever ask her that question because I am quite certain that she would give me an all too honest answer.) “Of course your tires don’t look flat!” Even though really, there is no human way that she will ever get back to the house on that bike. And yet amazingly she does. She opted out of the second half of the run, complaining that her legs were hurting. Gee, from what? 

It was all a bit distracting, but I wonder if I inflated her tires, gave her a stopwatch and a bottle of Gatorade if she would make a good training partner. I somehow think that she may be sadistic enough to shout out insults and bullies to let me know when I need to push harder and faster. Hmmmm…… Maybe Rule #1 should be rethought….